sent by Nick Grantham | 1st June 2021
I remember being told long ago that a completely professional working relationship must be maintained between the coach and the athlete. You are not their best friend - familiarity breeds contempt. My working relationship with the athletes is professional - how can it be anything else? I'm not their best friend, that much is true - but I'd say we are 'friends' on some level, how can we not be? I've been working with some of them since they were 15 years old and they're now married with children. I've seen them grow as people and as athletes, through the best of times and the worst of times - our lives are connected somehow. For me, the key learning is that familiarity does not breed contempt; it breeds what you want it to. You need to be '©The Coaching Mullet™' - all business at the front and party at the back. You have to have the emotional and professional maturity to be the mullet. An athlete is a person; you are a person - so be people, be professional and don't be dicks about anything. Be the mullet.
Source: Embrace The Chaos by Darren Roberts
Mental health and wellbeing in coaches is a subject that not nearly enough is talked about or addressed. Working at 100% capacity all the time is no different from training an athlete maximally all the time. How long before they would overreach then de-train? Why are we, as coaches or our minds, any different? As obvious as this sounds, apply the same systems and processes to yourself as the athletes. If you're struggling to 'programme for yourself', see a professional about a programme for your mind. You wouldn't think twice about it for anything other than 'mental health' because that very label suggests that you need help; you are 'mentally unhealthy'. We're pretty happy making small talk, saying things like, "yeah, I'm not that fit at the moment, and I need to get back into it" - can you imagine saying the same thing about your mind? "Yeah, my mental health has slipped a bit recently and isn't that good; I need to get back into it". Of course, you can't imagine saying that because of the stigma we attach to it ourselves. The lone wolf would never say something like that. They would never admit anything and certainly won't be addressing any issues. Instead, the lone wolf works to put things right by working themselves to death even more. Don't be the lone wolf, be the coach you are. Plan and programme for yourself, set boundaries, attach your self-esteem to something other than just work and seek professional help if you're unsure what to do. Everything YOU would tell an athlete to do. Be the coach, not the lone wolf.
Source: Embrace The Chaos by Darren Roberts
One day you may outgrow each other and not work together anymore. So what? That is the natural life cycle of any coach-athlete relationship. If you're as good a coach as you think you are, surely you can spot when you've taken them as far as you can, and it's time for someone else to come in. The most successful working relationships are the ones that are open, honest, have some ups and downs, but also have total trust. There's plenty of athletes I no longer work with, but it doesn't mean we've fallen out.
Source: Embrace The Chaos by Darren Roberts
There are several truths that I've had to accept and needed to make peace with to work with action sports athletes. Here's one of them, They are the experts in their sports. No one knows more about their sports than them. They are ultimate students of their sports, uber-fans - so learn from them. Even though they are continually looking to break boundaries and push their sports forward, they're also embedded in the culture and history of their sports. They have a tremendous amount of respect for that culture and history, the pioneers who went before them - whilst at the same time striving to surpass the same pioneers. Remember, this isn't just about the technical and physical aspects of what you need to be immersed in, but the cultural and community aspects including the language.
Source: Embrace The Chaos by Darren Roberts
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