Different dreams, "I'm Normal" paradox, keeping your eyes open and opportunity

sent by Nick Grantham | 10th August 2021

"Dreaming different dreams in the same bed."

Chinese Proverb

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This Chinese proverb sums up nicely what you see in many high-performance multidisciplinary support teams. Whilst on the surface, there's a semblance of unity (everyone is sleeping in the same bed), individual members of the group are either working in silos or pursuing their own goals at the expense of the teams (dreaming different dreams). Highly functioning interdisciplinary teams have a collective desire to adopt a truly integrated approach with shared visions and ambitions. Not only are they sleeping in the same bed, but they also have the same dreams!

Source: Chinese Proverb

"Thinking you're normal is one of the most damaging assumptions in negotiations."

Chris Voss

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Chris Voss, author of the excellent book, Never Split The Difference calls this the "I'm normal" paradox, and I see this all the time when I'm speaking to coaches that are struggling to get their ideas to land with athletes or colleagues. They think that everyone's view of the world is the same as theirs, failing to consider that whilst we may all be looking at the same map, we are certainly viewing it from very different vantage points. So if you want to negotiate and influence someone, you first need to understand their 'normal'. If you take the time to understand their views, preconceptions, concerns and ambitions, you'll be in a far stronger position to start your negotiations.

Source: Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss

"Dream with your eyes open."

Nick Grantham

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I've mentored many coaches and performance practitioners throughout my career, and they've all had big dreams and ambitions. Sometimes they reach out to me when those ambitions don't seem to be within touching distance, or the pursuit of working in high-performance sport is not everything they thought it would be. Their experience doesn't match their expectations, and it can be pretty frustrating when you find yourself in that gap. The problem is often that no one sat down with them at the start of their career journey and explained that whilst it's great to dream and have lofty ambitions, you have to dream with your eyes wide open. You have to know precisely what it is you're chasing, the good, the bad and the ugly. If you dream with your eyes wide open, there's a much greater chance of your expectations and experiences aligning.

Source: Nick Grantham

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."

Milton Berle

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I love the film Field of Dreams starring Kevin Costner. I know it's a fantasy film, but the message is solid and essential to understand. Sometimes you have to create the opportunity because sitting around waiting for a chance to appear as if by magic isn't an excellent strategy. If you build it, they will come!

Source: Milton Berle

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